By: Robert Miller

'And the vultures, they came running..."

Well, it finally happened. My Mother died and the vultures came out.

Not the bird, the vultures, my siblings and other relatives.

I had seen it in other families, but I had not really thought it possible in my own, well, not to this degree. My Mother seemed to be in great health; running errands locally, taking the bus and train for longer excursions and occasionally relying on a taxi or two when forced. Then one Tuesday morning the phone rang with loud bang and the news was spread; my Mother was dead.

It was strangest to me because I knew her as a relentless ball of energy, and I never anticipated that she would pass on so soon in life. But really what was too soon? 68? 75? 82? 96? 55? She ate well, exercised, went to the Doctor and vented her thoughts to whomever she chose. But there was the unmistakable news. Her death.

My siblings and immediate family all had to know about it and come together in some way. And come together we did.

We all met at the funeral parlor in disbelief of what had taken place. We consoled one another and remember many times together. Poking fun and laughing and acting again as we had when we were children together. We picked up right where we left off with the eldest taking charge, the middle feeling bossed about, and myself, the baby of the family wanting it my way.

It was interesting because here I had my own family, but I, and the others fell right back into old ways. We had not been together in years. We are close, but not too close, yet all of us are up on each other’s lives and very loving towards one another, but right at that time we acted as if we had never married and had never our own families. We all acted as if we had still been living in the same household and going to school again. It was a warm feeling; familiar, comfortable, and we all fell into it so easily.

After I pulled myself away of my original nucleic family, I reintroduced all of my children and everyone did a round of introductions and quick catching up. It was interesting to see my nieces and nephews and how they’d grown and who they’d become. And how I didn’t feel any older than they were. Yet here I was with my own children. It just struck me as a full circle of life thing. Especially since we were there for our Mother’s funeral. The woman who had beget us and we who had beget our babes…

The afternoon was like time held in space and we gathered, spoke a little and then decided to meet back up in two hours after we were settled. Oddly enough, I was the only one who was willing to sleep at our Mother’s house. The others were almost spooked with her spirit being in the house. Personally, I found it comforting. Maybe because I was the youngest. It wasn’t the house we grew up in, it was just an affordable tract house that she moved into after our parents divorced and we were in college. It was typical, nothing special to it, but boy had the house appreciated.

I can’t say that enough, "boy had the house appreciated". Because that’s why and when the vultures came out…

We hadn’t heard from Uncles and Aunts and cousins in years and now, they were calling. One close Aunt came over and began to take some vases and trunks! And had I not arrived, she most certainly would have helped herself to even more items.

I was surprised, but not taken off guard because I had heard of stories like this, only this was not a story happening to someone else, it was happening to our family and to our belongings. But that was just the beginning…

A couple of hours later, we, just the siblings that is, regrouped at the funeral parlor to discuss a few details; such as, coffin, burial plot, time of service, type of service, notification in paper of service, and then we touched upon the will.

The will was to be dealt with at the lawyer’s office.

So, the next day, we had all planned on going to the lawyer’s office.

Most of the night was spent at our Mother’s house, eating, commiserating, crying and laughing together. Many family members showed up. It was wonderful to see everyone and we had all wondered why it took a death to gather us all together again. We were having such a fun time and everyone was getting along. All of the cousins, old and young alike were taking to each other as if they had played all of their lives together. It was heart warming to see so much "family" together in one place. I had not realized what a truly wonderful experience this was and could’ve been time and time again, had we all made an effort to get together. Where does the time go and why do other things seem to take such precedence over such wonderfully possible moments…I have decided, gathering the family must be a learned behavior.

After such a heart-filled evening we all retired and the next day, we met at the lawyer’s office and began the discussion. The lawyer was able to make heads and tails of Mother’s will and property, that meeting was the easy part. What was difficult, was meeting at our Mother’s to divide her things and will-mentioned properties.

Not only was my little family awoken at 5:30 in the morning by my Uncle and his 3 crummy adult kids, but my Auntie again showed up, only this time with donoughts and at 7:00 AM and with an empty trailer! I guess vultures don’t sleep!

By 8:30 in the morning, all of my siblings and nieces and nephews had arrived. My eldest brother had gently ushered out our Uncle and Aunt, and our immediate family sent our children outside to play while we discussed the financial situation of the house and of the dividing of the "stuff"…if one of us needed an item, they were the ones who received it. What made it miserable was when everyone wanted her ‘big ticket’ items. That’s when the truth of how we all felt about our lives and what we’d been given in comparison with one another, came pouring out.

One sibling complained, then another, and before I knew it, I had joined in the "I should have it" syndrome. And while we were in the middle of who deserves the ‘this-and-that-thing" one of my Mother’s cousins showed up from who-knows-where and began to explain why she wanted an item of our Mother’s…

But the real fight came over the property. The real property.

I wanted to live there with my little family to be enveloped by my Mother and her memories, while my siblings wanted the cash. They wanted me to buy them out. Well the only ‘buying’ I did was to sport for the groceries for the day, and it’s not like I asked for reimbursement, but after that afternoon, I should have.

With respect to our Mother’s property, I made many suggestions as to renting it, fixing it up and asking for a great price, and there wasn’t even a pondering moment out of any of them. They wanted the cash. Even though the area was escalating, and the house turned out by blind luck to have a perfect location, they wanted the cash now.

I didn’t understand what was happening at the time, but I was on an emotional level and they were on a monetary angle, at least for the present moment. No one even liked the idea of receiving rent for her place, they just wanted the cash and to take all they each thought he deserved. And boy what they thought they deserved and why. I found the entire process rather strange. So I began to grow quiet and smile and watch as they fed upon their prey.

And as they pointed and laughed and remembered and designated, more relatives from my Mother’s life arrived. From items to cash, we listened to their requests and sad stories, and interestingly, my siblings had absolutely no problem in saying "no" to any of their requests.

I found I had completely stopped commenting and began to succumb to my last child syndrome. And I remembered why our family with our own families rarely gathered, because we always end up disagreeing; that’s how my parents used to be; hence their divorce.

So, I left all of the decisions up to my eldest brother who in turn delegated the responsibility to my sister in the middle, and I, the baby of the family, would accept and go along with the out-come. It was also best the way it all worked itself out because I would not like to answer to either of them as landlords or have to discuss finances with them.

Plus, I have to say, it was nice to receive a chunk of money, but I would have rather enveloped myself in my Mother’s home rather than simply have photographs and memories. However, I did acquire her everyday silverware, so at least I feel like we’re having all of our meals together, away from the vultures.

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